Life Of An American Goddess

This Is A Terrorist Act

2005-01-22T08:48:00.000-08:00

(Cleburne, Texas) Three teens charged in the vicious beating last October of a gay high school student pleaded innocent Thursday at their arraignment.

The name of the 17 year old victim is being withheld from publication at the request of his family and police.

He was beaten and then stomped on and kicked with steel-toe boots. His injuries were so severe he needed reconstructive face surgery and may have permanent damage.

Police say the 17 year old student had gone to a party being thrown by other teens. Soon after he arrived, according to the police report, "one of the three individuals asked [him] if he was gay or bisexual."

When he answered yes, he was struck in the face. When he fell to the floor the others then beat and kicked him until he was nearly unconscious.

Several girls at the party managed to drag him from the onslaught and help him to a hospital.

Christopher Paul Lathers, 18, faces a felony charge of aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury. The second-degree felony was elevated to a first-degree felony when a hate-crime element was added.

Billy Lynn Calahan, 19, and Cory Dallas Gibson, 17, face misdemeanor charges that were elevated to Class A misdemeanors with the hate-crime element. Calahan is accused of punching and Gibson is accused of kicking the victim.

The three, who were indicted last month, (story) have been released on bail pending trial. They will be subject to random drug tests and are prohibited from drinking alcohol.

If convicted of the hate charge Lathers could face up to 99 years in prison.

The charges against Calahan and Gibson carry a possible punishment of 20 years in prison.

This...Is Annoying

2005-01-01T21:31:00.000-08:00

I just set up a blog about Tarot, and I included in it my review of Kris Waldherr's deck "The Goddess Tarot." I have a lot of reservations about the deck, esp. when I see some of the associations she has made. And there's one in particular that really annoys the living hell out of me...her associations of Freyja with the suit of Wands and with the Emperor card.

Like Silver Ravenwolf who thinks that Freyja is a "Scandinavian Lunar Goddess" and that the Norns are CELTIC in origin, Waldherr clearly has NOT read any of the original Norse lore at all and got to know the Asynjor on their own terms.

Given that Freyja is one of the Vanir, and given than Vanaheim is a watery realm, I'd have associated Freyja with the suit of Cups. Not Wands, which is associated with Fire. Put Brighid or Hestia there.

People need to start reading the Eddas and really learning about the Asynjor and learning that there ARE other Norse Goddesses out there such as Frigg, who I think would be more appropriate for the Emperor card given her status in Asgard. Hey, she's the Queen!

Argh. Just a pet peeve of mine.

Non PC Thought

2004-12-27T16:51:00.000-08:00

I just read a news story about that tsunami wave that killed all those people in Asia.

And I realized that there are a lot of Christians out there who are going to use this, as well as the 4 hurricanes that kicked our asses here in FL, to justify their "end times" talk.

I think that's really horrible.

Natural disasters are just that...natural disasters. I hardly think the people who have suffered so much need to hear "this is God punishing us for being so sinful."

Ya know what? If God wanted to target sins like homosexuality, and He supposedly acts through natural disasters like this, then let him send a tsunami to San Francisco and wipe out ONLY the gay people there. How come that hasn't happened yet? Or, if the politicians in this country are so awful, then let the White House be destroyed by a nor'easter. Hell, when Orlando put up rainbow flags all over the place for Pride Month a few years ago (and did the city ever look festive with all that color all over the place) and then the brushfires started and Messers Robertson and Falwell said that God was sending the fires to punish Orlando for upholding gay people with the Pride flags, they forgot one very important detail.

THE FREAKING FIRES CAME NOWHERE NEAR THE CITY OF ORLANDO!

I hereby officially flip the bird to Messers Robertson and Falwell. We weren't freaking well punished for freaking well having some freaking rainbow freaking flags on the freaking lampposts in freaking downtown freaking Orlando. Neener neener neener!

But seriously...let's look at this. Brushfires are not an unusual occurence in Florida. Just as earthquakes are not an unusual occurence in California. If Hollywood were to get wiped off the map by an earthquake, I'm sure the Robertsonians and Falwellians would be saying, "See? THERE you have a situation of God punishing those sinful people!" No, there you have a situation of a major entertainment center taking its chances being built in a state whose backbone is a freaking FAULT LINE!

Let's see an earthquake happen somewhere that these things never happen. And I mean nowhere NEAR a fault line. Let's see a brushfire happen on top of Mt. Everest, where there's nothing but SNOW. Let's see a hurricane or tsunami take out Lhasa, the former capital of Tibet, where the Dalai Lama lived -- Tibet having the nickname of "the Rooftop of the World."

If all of a sudden Florida became locked in ice -- and we're talking to the levels of the last Ice Age, not just the time it snowed in Orlando many years ago, and yes it has snowed in Orlando but the snowflakes didn't make it all the way to the ground but melted about 3' above ground -- then we'll talk about God punishing people via natural disasters.

I'm glad Brother Jim isn't here to see this. I'm sure he'd tell me this is exactly what it is and justify it with Scripture. And that would only piss me off.

Egil's Saga edit

2004-12-26T05:54:00.000-08:00

I'm reading this story about this Viking man who lived near the turn of the first century in Iceland, and I'm seeing something interesting here.
Egil Skallagrimsson was a nasty bastard. Yet for all he had his truly evil and dangerous side - he made his first killing at the age of 6 - he also had a side of him that was very shrewd, very poetic (he was gifted by Odin not only the berserkergang which is the warrior's fury but also the poetic frenzy) and very staunch to his values.

He didn't back down from anything for shit. I'm only halfway through the story, and it's absolutely riveting. I've never read anything like it; it'd make a kick-ass movie or series. It's said that Iceland is the single most literate nation on earth, and with amazing stories like THIS it doesn't surprise me. And this isn't even fiction or fantasy; it's supposedly real. But it reads like a Tolkein novel or something like that...at least, this translation of it does (the one I'm reading now is the Penguin Classic version, translated by Hermann Palsson and Paul Edwards). Stace, your inner English major would really like this, if only because of its sharp, blunt descriptions and naked passion. It's very simply written but there's an elegance to its simplicity. And it moves, moves, moves.

Anyway, Egil is the consummate Icelander and Viking. Well, originally his family was from Norway but they had to leave the country when Skallagrim Kveldulfson, Egil's father, refused to be King Harald Fairhair's man because King Harald had killed Skallagrim's brother Thorolf Kveldulfson (Thorolf being Egil's uncle). Here's where it gets like the notorious Hatfields & McCoys (keeping in mind that I am related by marriage to the Hatfield clan on my mother's side).

Thorolf Kveldulfson had been a loyal steward of King Harald, but another family who felt that they'd been cheated of their inheritance and this inheritance having been unfairly given to Thorolf began bending the ear of Harald, and slandering Thorolf. When this got back to Thorolf, he took the attitude of, "Hey -- if the King chooses to listen to these bitter fellows over a loyal steward of his own, then he doesn't deserve my loyalty any more. Fuck the King." Balls to the wall. It was giving responsibility into Harald's own hands for the way he treated his loyal landholders. Harald got irritated at this attitude of Thorolf's and eventually had Thorolf killed and all of Thorolf's men as well, and seized Thorolf's property (including his wife) and gave most of it into the hands of the two brothers who'd been slandering Thorolf. Those two brothers were of distant relation to Kveldulf's family but of questionable legitimacy; it's thought that the mother and father were never legally married, but they felt entitled to that property anyway. And they ended up getting it, by hook and crook.

Skallagrim of course refused to swear fealty to King Harald after the death of his brother, saying that he believed it would go about as well for him to serve Harald as it had gone for unfortunate Thorolf, and this pissed the King off. So Skallagrim and his family, including his two sons Thorolf Skallagrimson (naturally given the same first name as his deceased uncle Thorolf, in his honor) and Egil Skallagrimson, flew to Iceland and set up a farmstead there and began trading and raiding and doing what Vikings do. Old Kveldulf dies on the passage to Iceland - more than slightly reminiscent of Moses never making it to the Promised Land.

By the way...notice how the names progress? Kveldulf is the grandfather, and his sons Thorolf and Grim took their dad's name as their last name, becoming Thorolf Kveldulfson and Grim Kveldufson. Kveldulfson means "son of Kvelduf" and Kveldulf itself means "night wolf." The old man Kveldulf himself was originally named Ulf ("wolf") Bjalfason, but because he was so big and strong people just started calling him "Kveldulf" and the nickname stuck. Now Grim Kveldulfson went bald early in his life, and he acquired the nickname "Skallagrim" or "Bald Grim." The name most people would have known him as would have been Skallagrim Kveldulfson. Skallagrim then married and had two sons, Thorolf Skallagrimsson and Egil Skallagrimsson - that is, Thorolf son of Skallagrim and Egil son of Skallagrim.

It's almost like the Scottish "Mc" something like McTavish. Son of Tavish. Mc or Mac is like the Irish O' as in O'Sullivan. My friend Anne's surname is Sullivan, but it used to be O'Sullivan, except her father dropped the O' because it was just too long to sign on credit card receipts! Hahaha!

Damn and blast. Joe just told me that Gen. Norman Schwartzkopf's surname means "black head." HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! "Schwartz" means "black" in German, and "kopf" means "head."

At any rate, I'm seeing this Egil person in a really weird light. He reminds me of me! He reminds me of the way I go off and I also don't easily forget when I've been wronged (just as Egil's family didn't forget the way Harald killed Thorolf) and I don't back down from my principles. I even pointed that out to Joe. I said, "Dude, you admire this quality in Egil, that he never backed down...yet you complain to me when I do it and you bitch about me refusing to compromise." He just looked at me with a wry smile on his face. I hope I made my point.

Egil's story shows me what life is like when lived with passion and fire. Sometimes property and family and friends and even life itself is lost -- but those people knew where they stood on things. Some would read this and say they were fricking crazy, but there was no hesitation with these bold people. They came right out and declared where they stood on things, and acted on it. They all lived heroically. Not just Egil himself, but Egil's kin and the people who chose to be loyal to them and share their sufferings even unto the death with them. When two people swore blood-brotherhood, they damn well meant it, and it meant that you could be asked to die alongside your blood-brother, and they all knew this. The bonds these people created between each other were taken very seriously, and in light of the customs of the times they were expected to behave a certain way when under certain social obligations. Much was asked of people then, but much was to be gained.

When one reads Egil's Saga, the first part dealing with old man Kveldulf may seem superflous, but it really isn't. It's necessary to set the scene and show what kind of environment Egil was born into and why it influenced him to be the person he turned out to be. Like I said, it's an amazing read.

There's much about Egil that most people won't like. He's deadly. He doesn't hold his ale well. He's damn stubborn and very sharp of tongue. But he's decisive and fearless and doesn't let anything stand in his way. There is one somewhat amusing feature about Egil - unlike the Irish heroes, who are said to be hot and sexy, Egil is described as being so butt-ugly that if someone had a dog who looked like him, better to shave the dog's ass and teach it to walk backwards. Man. No beautiful fair-haired blue-eyed hero here. *grin*

Well, anyway, I just had to put that out there.

Jul 2004

2004-12-26T01:37:00.000-08:00

Made it to the dawn. Hail to thee day, all hail day's sons. Hail night and daughters of night. Hail Delling and Sunna and Dag and all deities of the new day.

It was really fun. We had several people who stayed all night long, not just the usual 4 or 5, and we were all just laughing and chatting and talking and munching on feast food and drinking and generally enjoying ourselves. The temperatures didn't get that low all night; I had a fleece sweatshirt on over a T shirt, and I sat in a chair on a light blanket...but I didn't need my winter coat. With the bonfire, it was quite comfortable. I don't feel like I'm going to get sick this year.

The ritual went off fairly well. There is one portion I forgot to do, but hey. I don't think the Gods are too offended. *grin* Joe's story about Freyja and Od was a big hit. (I do not know if Joe really equates Od with Odin specifically...and he's snoring right now so I can't ask him. Some scholars do, some don't, depends on who you ask.)

And I didn't have to sit through the frightfully looooooooooooong meditation Marni always does! Joe and I got up and scooted out at the part where Tom leads a spiral dance - he does that during Marni's service every year, because she asks him to, because that's her understanding of the Pagan Solstice traditions - and we went over to the church's courtyard and got the altar set up and everything. That was nice. Better to get it done ahead of time, than to make people wait.

I have to admit, there was some really strange additions to Marni's service this year. There was a reading done, a poem, that talked about the Celtic Triple Goddess - the Maiden, Mother and Crone. Three people were assigned a part - one got the Maid's part, one got the Mother's part (and yes, she's pregnant), and one got the Crone's part. That's all well and good, and it was a nice touch, but the Maiden-Mother-Crone triplicity seems like it's more Mediterranean in origin, not Celtic. OK, yes, Brighid IS a Triple Goddess, yes, but She doesn't fit the MMC mold. She's the Goddess of the smithy, of poetry, and healing. She's really ageless; She isn't all Maiden, She isn't all Mother, and She isn't all Crone.

I wonder if I should, during the upcoming year, ask to lead an RE class on Goddesses. (RE being Religious Education.) I'll have to think about that. It's the most constructive way I can think of putting the message out there that not all cultures had the Maid-Mother-Crone thing going on with their deities. Not even the Norns in the Northern Way are MMC. In the Poetic Edda, in the Voluspa, they are described as "maidens" and some take that to mean they are Jotun/giant maidens. Here are the verses in the Voluspa wherein the Norns are believed to make their appearance (bear with me as I insert here a rather long excerpt):

At Ida's Field the Aesir met:
Temple and altar they timbered and raised,
Set up a forge to smithy treasures,
Tongs they fashioned and tools wrought;

Played chess in the court and cheerful were;
Gold they lacked not, the gleaming metal
Then came three, the Thurs maidens,
Rejoicing in their strength, from Giant-home.

The high Gods gathered in council.
In their hall of judgement: Who of the dwarves
Should mould man by master craft
From Brimir's blood and Blain' s limbs?

Motsognir was their mighty ruler,
Greatest of dwarves, and Durin after him:
The dwarves did as Durin directed,
Many man forms made from the earth.

Nyi and Nidi, Nordri, Sudri, Austri and Vestri, Althjof, Dvalin, Bivor,
Bavor Bombur, Nori, An and Anar, Ai, Mjodvitnir, Veignr and Gandalf,
Vindalf, Thorin, Thror and Thrain, Thekkur, Litur, Vitur, Nar and Nyradur, Fili, Kili, Fundin, Nali Hefti, Vili, Hanar, Sviur, Billing, Bruni, Bildur, and Buri, Frar, Hornbori Fraegur, Loni, Aurvangur, Jari, Eikinskjaldi;
All Durin's folk I have duly named

I must tell of the dwarves in Dvalin' s host;
Like lions they were in Lofar's time:
In Juravale's marsh they made their dwelling,
From their Stone hall set out on journeys,

There was Draupnir and Dolgthrasir, Har, Haugspori, Hlevangur, Gloi, Dori, Ori, Dufur, Andvari, Skirvir, Virvir Skafidur, Ai, Alf and Yngvi,
Eikinskjaldi, Fjalar and Frosti, Finn and Ginnar
Men will remember while men live
The long line of Lofar's forbears.

Then from the host three came,
Great, merciful, from the God's home:
Ash and Elm on earth they found,
Faint, feeble, with no fate assigned them

Breath they had not, nor blood nor senses,
Nor language possessed, nor life-hue:
Odhinn gave them breath, Haenir senses,
Blood and life hue Lothur gave.

I know an ash tree, named Yggdrasil:
Sparkling showers are shed on its leaves
That drip dew, into the dales below,
By Urd's well it waves evergreen,
Stands over that still pool,
Near it a bower whence now there come
The Fate Maidens, first Urd,
Skuld second, scorer of runes,
Then Verdandi, third of the Norns:
The laws that determine the lives of men
They fixed forever and their fate sealed.

To put it in a visual context, here are a few images of the Norns:

The first 2 are my favorite images of the Norns.

Well, it's something to consider. I may have to give such a class some serious thought. Better to do a class on it, or give a lecture or something like that, than to come out and directly contradict Marni's service - and here's where diplomacy comes in. If I go on the Grove's mailing list and everyone is saying how great Marni's service was and I say, "Yeah but the whole MMC thing really isn't a Celtic thing at all" I'll be looked at as a....insufferable know-it-all. It's then possible that everything I say would be dismissed with the attitude of "oh, well, all she does is complain about things, she's just doing her usual bitching again." Yes, I could just come out and say it, but why take the chance of being blown off like that? I'd hope they wouldn't do it, but I've been burned enough in my life of people not taking seriously anything I say, so why would it not happen there too?

It's just something that seems to happen to me a lot.

Ya know, I really dig these people in Mystic Grove and the UU church that I hang with. They're good people. But, well, as is wont to happen sometimes, people get starry-eyed about things and they wind up in fluffland. And of course, Marni is in a position where she has to conduct a religious ritual that people of ALL different religious backgrounds can appreciate. Her background is mostly Unitarian and Buddhist. She's not even *claiming* to do a Pagan Solstice ritual, so she's free to create whatever rite she wants to. She just wants to have a ceremony to mark the Solstice; no one said ALL Solstice rites HAD to be Pagan ones. BUT if one is going to introduce Pagan elements (and specifically Celtic ones) into such a rite, let it be accurate, at least.

At any rate, soon we get to turn our faces towards Imbolg (in the Celtic tradition) and the Feast of Thunar (Thor, in the Norse tradition). The days will start to get longer from here on out. Woot!

Holy Days

2004-12-26T01:35:00.000-08:00

Many people hold at least one blót every month or so. The dates given are ones that are commonly used in modern Ásatrú, and while it always isn't possible to be exact on dates, we pick the Saturday or Sunday closest to it. Some of the blessings listed here were also held to be important by our ancestors. The most important are Yule, Ostara, Midsummer and Winter Nights. Some of the rites are based on localized celebrations, such as the Icelandic Þórablót. Others are modern creations, such as Skaðiblot. Many people and groups will follow their own calendars, celebrating what they feel is important to them.

Important Days of the Year

Yule
Traditional: End of December (running for 12 days)
Yule is the holiest of all our holy days. It is the time when our Gods and Goddesses are closest to us. In fact, the Norse called them "Yule-Beings" and one of Óðinn's names is Jólnir, or "Yule-One." It is also the time when our ancestors and those who have gone before us return to Miðgarð to feast with us, and so a plate is set out for them, heaped high with steaming food. The alfs, troll, kobolds, land spirits and many others also wander freely at this time and need to be warded off or invited in as guests. The wild hunt which began riding with winter's first snows reaches its peak at this time, and while it is dangerous to meet them, food and drink are left out for them for they bring fruitfulness and blessing. Traditionally, oaths are sworn at this time, usually on a boar. Some kindreds will use boar-cakes. Many people will also hang holy gifts on trees, gifts for the Gods and Ghosts who gather at this time of year.

Feast of Thunar
Modern: Full moon or new moon in January or around 19 to 25
There is a modern, national holiday in Iceland whose roots to the 19th century called Þórrablót. In Iceland, this feast has nothing to do traditionally with Þórr, but is instead a celebration of traditional Icelandic culture. Many modern Ásatrúar in North America take this opportunity to honour Þórr, for it is this time of year, when Winter really sinks his teeth in, that the Warder of Humanity is needed.

Skaðiblót
Modern: New moon in January or end of January to beginning of February
The North Stone Hearth holds a blót to Skaði at this time of year. On this day, we attempt to melt this wintry Goddesses frozen disposition, or at least soften it somewhat, and ask her to ease her cold grip on the land. Sometimes tied in with Disting.

Idis-Þing or Disting
Traditional: Beginning of February
Modern: The first weekend of February, sometimes February 2
Many modern Ásatrúar celebrate Disting, also known as Charming of the Plough, at this time of year. In Alberta in February the Earth is still covered in a thick blanket of snow and temperature's of below -30c are not unusual.

Ostara
Traditional: Sometime at mid to end of April
Modern: April 21 of the full moon, sometimes with Easter
This is the time of year when trees start budding, and a little green can be seen again. This is spring, and we celebrate her arrival with Ostara eggs, painted and decorated with the runes of fertility and home and with a morning feast. We also enact a drama in which Winter is beaten and driven out and ultimately burned in effigy.

Walburg's Night
Traditional: Late April, though was not called Walburg's
Modern April 30 through to May 1
Traditionally this is seen as the night when witches are most active. It is also seen as a night of love, and young men will go into the woods gathering tender branches and wild flowers with which to decorate the windows of their beloved. As Freya is seen as mistress of both witchcraft and love, this day is held as holy to her by many modern Ásatrúar. This is a day for honouring Freya, and is also seen as a kind of equivalent to an Ásatrú Valentine's Day.

Midsummer
Traditional: Mid-summer
Modern: June 21 (solstice)
At this time we discuss the past year and make plans for the year ahead. This day was chosen for this meeting because the Icelandic Althing (judgment-moot) was held during the summer. One a more religious note, on this day we especially honour Týr and Forseti, Gods of justice. We also ask for the Gods blessings on our works, as this is a time for starting bold, new projects. We offer as sacrifice a small model ship. Before it is cast into the flames, we all touch the ship each quietly speak a bidding or thanks to the Gods and Goddesses.

Freyfaxi
Traditional: Likely end of July though was not called Freyfaxi then
Modern: August 1
This celebration marks the time of the first harvest in traditional agriculture base societies. In modern times, we city folk take this opportunity to thank the Gods and Goddesses, especially those who are responsible for fruitfulness, for the fruits of our summer labours. We will hail Freyr and Freya, Nerthus and Njörðr, Þórr and Sif and Farmatýr ("Cargo-God", one of the name of Óðinn)

Winternights
Traditional: Mid October to end of October
Modern: Second weekend in October or sometimes the end of October
With the first snows starts that part of the year when the wall between the world of the living and the world of the dead grows thin. This will peak over the twelve days of Yule. At this time, we honour our ancestors, and remember those who have died, especially those who have died recently. We honour the ancestral Ídises and Alfs who have watched over our families, and the Gods and Goddesses who lead them. We honour Óðinn and the Wild Hunt he starts leading at this time of year, offering grain for his horse: "Óðinn, give your horse now fodder. This year thistle and thorn - the next year better grain!" And we sacrifice a bread horse (in case that's not 100% clear, that's a horse made out of bread), after placing our hands upon it and softly speaking a bidding or blessing for it to carry to the Gods and Goddesses for us.

Einherjar Day
Modern : November 11
The Einherjar are those who have fallen in battle and been taken by the Valkyries to either Óðinn's or Freya's halls, with each getting half of the slain. Einherjar Day is an entirely modern invention. However, many modern Ásatrúar felt very strongly that the war-dead needed to be honoured. Since our nation has a day for doing so, it seemed quite appropriate to honour them in an Ásatrú fashion, with a day of toasting and remembering. On this day, we will hail those who died holding the line at Ypres, those who died taking Vimy Ridge, those who died at Dieppe, and thousands, millions of others. We will hail those whose awe-inspiring courage earned them the Victoria Cross, and those whose awe-inspiring courage was never witnessed.

Other Special Days

These blessings are usually held to remember some great hero or heroine from our past. Typically, members will do their own thing on these days, from holding a private blót in their homes, to taking a moment to contemplate the one being honoured.

Remembrance for Raud the Strong - January 9
Raud was a Norwegian chieftain tortured to death by Olaf the Traitor for refusing to convert to Christianity. He was put to death by having the end of a metal horn put in his mouth, into which was put a poisonous snake which was driven down the horn and into Raud by heating the horn.

Remembrance for Eyvind Kinnrifi - February 9
Eyvind was another heathen tortured to death by Olaf the Traitor for refusing to convert. Eyvind was killed by having a brazier filled with burning coals placed on his belly.

Feast of Vali - February 14
Although there is no connection between Vali and St. Valentine, except for the superficial resemblance between their names, many modern Ásatrúar will honour the god, Vali on this day.

Ragnar Lodbrok's Day - March 28
Ragnar was a famous viking, and on this day we celebrate his sacking of Paris.

Remembrance for Haakon Sigurdsson - April 9
On this day, we remember Haakon the Great, one of the Jarls of Hlaðir, and a great defender of Heathenism during the brutal conversion.

Remembrance for Gudrod of Gudbrandsdal - May 9
Gudrod was a heathen whose tongue was cut out by Olaf the Fat (not to be confused with Olaf the Traitor).

Remembrance for Sigurd the Dragonslayer - June 9
Arguably the greatest hero in all Germanic/Scandinavian literature. We remember his might, his courage and his honour.

Remembrance for Unn the Deep -Minded - July 9
On this day, we remember the woman who was one of the great chieftains of the Icelandic settlement. She led her clan form Norway.

Death of Olaf the Fat - July 29
On this day, we celebrate the death of Olaf the Fat, a person who was canonized for his efforts to convert Norway through the tools of slaughter and torture.

Remembrance for King Radbod of Frisia - August 9
Radbod had one foot on the baptismal font and was about to receive baptism, when he asked if he would dwell with his heathen ancestors after death. He was told in no uncertain terms that he would not, and that his ancestors were surely damned. He changed his mind, saying that "he could not do without the fellowship of all those who ruled over the Frisians before him, and that he did not want to have to sit around in heaven with a little pack of beggars, and therefore he could not give the new faith any troth and he would rather stay with the one to which he, along with the whole of the Frisians, had held fast." He then staunchly defended the heathen ways of his people, opposing the Christian missionaries.

Remembrance for Hermann the Cheruscan - September 9
A great hero who kept the Romans out of Germania, keeping their culture and language safe from the destruction being experience in occupied Celtic Gaul.

Remembrance for Erík The Red - October 28; Remembrance for Leif Eriksson and Freydis Eriksdottir - Columbus Day
Leaders of the earliest European settlement in the North America.

Remembrance for Queen Sigrid of Sweden - November 9
Olaf the Traitor wished to marry her. When she told him that she had no problem with his worshiping his Christ, but had no intention of leaving the faith of her ancestors, he slapped her. She was the one behind the alliance which brought him down and saw him dead.

Weyland the Smith's (Völundr) Day - Thanksgiving Day (USA)
On this day we honour the great craftsman. Incidentally, no one really knows why this day was chosen. Its just become tradition.

Remembrance for Egill Skallagrimsson - December 9
On this day, we honour this great viking, warrior, poet and rune master. His exploits are described in the Saga of Egill Skallagrimsson

So THIS Is What They Want

2004-12-26T01:31:00.000-08:00

I was on one of the Pagan forums, and it seems that the only thing people want in Paganism any more is eclecticism. No one appreciates reconstructionism at all.

One woman said, "It's too much work." Yet she's working on her first degree Correllian initiation. She's willing to put all the work into the one thing, which is utter cotton candy...yet she can't be bothered to put the work into really recreating the old religions of the deities she wants to worship.

She feels called by the Greek pantheon, but doesn't want to give up being Wiccan.

Wicca has nothing to do with Greek worship.

I say this is getting a little ridiculous. Wicca is Wicca. Let it BE Wicca.

Then again, my own friend Lexa is a Dianic Wiccan. But SHE has SENSE. She's been a recon before, so she knows what's what. Me, I hesitate to use the term Wicca in conjunction with Dianic, simply because I know Wicca is one thing. Dianic worship is another.

I used to be Dianic myself, and even now as a Heathen I have a strong feminist bent to my spiritual path, I have to admit. Yes it's true, there ARE feminist Heathens out there.

My question is, why be Wiccan? Why is it necessary to have that label? I've had moments, I must admit, where I wished Wicca would VANISH from the face of the earth. I wish it had never been born. I wish the old man had been a little more clear in things...but he was a Gemini, and Geminis are known for clouding issues on purpose. They are VERY good at that. They don't want people to discern what they're REALLY up to.

Makes me think twice about participating in a religion invented by a Gemini. For all I know, he was using it as an excuse to indulge in bondage and sexual promiscuity.

Sort of makes me glad that Joe is a Heathen, not a Wiccan. He's a Gemini, and he APPARENTLY wants to have a very real relationship with the Gods, not an excuse to fuck everything that moves.

He'd be the first to say that no, he was doing THAT long before he was a Heathen! He doesn't need Heathenry to give him an excuse to do it. If he wanted to do it, then he'd do it, Heathen or not.

But here's the thing - I've noticed that eclectics are eclectics only to a point. Try to suggest including Allah or Jehovah God or Jesus in the rituals, and they balk at that. Why? That's being eclectic, isn't it?

On the other hand.....I have moments where I think life would be easier as an eclectic Pagan....but I know that having more concrete things like the Havamal to guide one in life is a big plus, a real advantage....argh. What to think?

More on this later.

Jul! I'm So Happy!

2004-12-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

But I'm getting so happy that Jul is almost here!

I found this turn-of-the-century Jul card on an advent calendar (not Mystic Grove's - a different one) and I couldn't resist snagging it.

I'd like to use it in a seasonal layout if I could.

I have to admit I'm wishing I lived in a cold, northerly climate so I can experience Jul for REAL, with real cold and real snow and whatnot.

I miss that.

I have to admit...Pooka has people thinking that the 12 Days of Jul are the ones that lead up to the Winter Solstice. That's not the case. The 12 Days of Jul are the ones that commence with the Winter Solstice.

For those who don't know, Jul is the extra-calendrical season of 12 days that begins with the Winter Solstice and lasts until New Year's Eve, and that entire 12 days is the Heathen New Year celebration. This is the celebration that was in place in such places like Scandinavia, Germany, Austria, etc long before Christianity came to Europe and Christmas took over that season.

Jul is an in-between time, belonging to no year, but being an independent space of time completely. It seems confusing to say that, and I'm sure most people will wonder "How can it be an independent space of time? What are you talking about?" But it's really not that difficult.

Most of the time in English the word is spelled "Yule." I like the Old Norse spelling "Jul" myself personally.

On the night of the Solstice, I'll be leading a ritual at the local UU church. Here is the rite I composed:

Ninefold Hallowing
Hamar I Nordri, Helga ve theta ok hald vordh!
Hamar I Austri, Helga ve theta ok hald vordh!
Hamar I Sudri, Helga ve theta ok hald vordh!
Hamar I Vestri, Helga ve theta ok hald vordh!
Hamar ifir mir, Helga ve theta ok hald vordh!
Hamar untr mir, Helga ve theta ok hald vordh!
(Three times) Hamar Helga ve theta ok hald vordh!
This stead is hallowed for our work here tonight. As Heimdallr wards the Bifrost Bridge into Asgard, so this stead is warded against all evil wights and unholy ways.

Call or Invocation - Call and response
Odin Allfather – Leader of Wild Hunt and Lord of Asgard (We welcome thee)
Nott Narfisdottir of the raven hair and dark embrace (We welcome thee)
Delling – Herald of dawn, Nott’s beloved (We welcome thee)
Dag – Proud, beautiful son of Nott and Delling (We welcome thee)
Sunna – Golden Lady of the Sun (We welcome thee)

Rede/Purpose of rite
Tonight is the turning-point of the year – when the old year gives way to the new as the Sun travels through the longest night and grows in strength and warmth from this night on. Sunna travels the cold, lonely darkness in Her chariot, ever pursued by a dark, fearsome wolf. To Her encouragement, we hold vigil round this bonfire which lights Her way.

The Wild Hunt is also abroad tonight, with Odin astride mighty Sleipnir, moving among howling wind and eerie silence, leading the souls of the deceased through the passage from life into Helaheim, into the keeping of Hela – and to their memory we will lift a horn and drink our toasts.

On this night we pay homage to the Aesir and Vanir, for their wise assistance and fairest companionship, walking with us throughout the past year and into the new.

Reading/Story
Skallabjorn's Freyja story – possibly ending with the lighting of Jul log

Loading/blessing of mead
Ansuz – for hearing the voices of the Gods
Laguz – for deepening of faith
Uruz – for might and health
Alu, Alu, Alu

Drinking/sumbel
This is the time for passing the horn and toasting ancestors, boasts, declarations as to what one will do in the New Year, etc

Blessing
By green herb and bright ale
Be thou blessed - Wassail

Giving
To Odin – Frigga – Tyr – Baldur – Thor – Freyr and Freyja
To all the Gods and Goddesses of our folk
To all kindly wights
For a prosperous and frith-ful year

Leaving/close
Thus the work is once again wrought. It renews our hearts to do worthy deeds, and to strive towards our goals with mighty moods, wise words, and trust in our own powers – ever holding true to our oaths to ourselves and our folk!

One thing I've noticed - there is a strong element of darkness to Jul that Wiccans (and please note, I'm not Wiccan) will recognize from the Celtic holiday of Samhain. There's a strong awareness of death in Jul, not just the turning of the old year to the new. That's why toasts are drunk to the ancestors, and that's why Odin rides with the Wild Hunt at this time. The jotun/giants are closing in, and Thor is going to be very busy fighting them off as the days progress.

Jul really IS very much a crossroads - but it's a crossing into light. Samhain, much as I love that holiday because it sings so strongly to my Celtic ancestry just as Jul does to my Dutch ancestry, is a crossing into darkness.

It's very strange, being an American Heathen of mixed descent. Not that there was any "pure" group centuries ago with "pure" religious traditons. I have my Irish Gael ancestors on my father's side, and my mother's side gives me my Dutch heritage.

And I want to honor those cultures as much as possible in my spiritual life. They blended to make me what I am today.

Telephone!

2004-12-10T21:26:00.000-08:00

I just read another entry by a different writer here who wrote about Denver's problem with a holiday parade. From the sound of the entry that was posted, it came across like Denver had not only canceled the parade itself, but canceled Christmas!

But I found the article in question, and here is the actual text of the article:

DENVER -- It's one of Denver's most colorful holiday traditions -- the lighting of the Denver City and County Building and the parade of lights downtown. But now two decisions about those events are making church groups see red.

Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper recently announced that next year the phrase "Merry Christmas" will be removed from the city building and replaced with "Happy Holidays."

And now a church group who wants to march in the Parade of Lights and sing Christmas carols will not be allowed to participate in the parade.

Organizers say the parade is about the holidays, not Christmas, but leaders of the Faith Bible Chapel say that's ridiculous. "We can't pretend that Christ didn't exist and Christmas wasn't about his birthday, so we felt we could sing it and apparently that is not in social vogue anymore," said Pastor Gary Beasley, with the Faith Bible Chapel.

"Our policy, which we have applied consistently for years, is to not include religious or political messages in the parade -- in the interest of not excluding any group," said Jim Basey, the president of the Downtown Denver Partnership.

Susan Rogers, with the partnership said that no overtly religious symbols are allowed in the parade and that means participants can't carry "Merry Christmas" signs and can't sing traditional Christmas hymns. However Basey seemed to contradict her in a later statement when he said, "The parade includes performances of Christmas songs, and parade participants saying 'Merry Christmas,' 'Happy Hanukkah,' and other holiday greetings."

In the 30 years that it's been held, there has been an occasional Christmas element to the parade, such as marching bands playing Christmas songs, and several years ago a large balloon in the parade read "Merry Christmas." In 1987, even Mayor Federico Pena greeted the city with "Merry Christmas!" during the parade.

But last spring when the Faith Bible Chapel asked to be a part of the parade, offering to sponsor or build their own float and sing carols, organizers said no because it would be offensive.

"We try to be sensitive to the fact that we are a very diverse community and a very diverse world," said Rogers. She said this is a holiday parade, not specifically a Christmas parade, and it's occuring during a season when many other cultures are celebrating other holidays as well.

But Beasley doesn't see this reaction as being tolerant of other religions, but being intolerant of Christianity. He said his large evangelical organization is being excluded from a major downtown celebration.

"We're singing Christmas carols. It's Christmas time, people have been singing Christmas carols for hundreds of years in America," Beasley said, sounding exasperated.

The Arvada church group said since it cannot be in the parade, it will march one hour before this weekend's Parade of Lights, pass out hot chocolate and sing Christmas carols. Beasley said many other church groups plan to join the peaceful protest.

Basey said, "A core principle of downtown Denver is that downtown is for everyone, and the Parade and holiday season is a time when we all celebrate together as a community. We look forward to a successful parade this year, and we hope to see you there."

First of all, I think the idea of the church groups marching an hour ahead of the parade is actually a very effective way to settle the issue, at least for the time being. Those who don't celebrate Christmas because they aren't Christian don't have to go to that part of it. At least then, people would have a choice which part of the parade they want to see, and those who DO want to see a Christian Christmas parade can see that.

Any religious groups who have other celebrations at this time of year, which might include the Hindus with Diwali (which I think falls in December) can do their own thing too.

On the other hand, there is something to be said for the idea that eventually people WILL see how redundant it is to have two separate events, and in some way, shape or form the Christians will just end up being melded into the whole thing in the long run anyway. The only thing is, the people of Denver have to go through this process in order to really see the silliness of it.

There's a part of me that says that there should be Christians represented in the parade. As long as some attempt is made to include other non-Christian religions in said parade, there's no reason not to have Christians in the parade. The only snag with that I could see is that some Christians may not WANT to participate because perhaps other religions that they think are "false" may be part of that parade, and they may not wish to be seen in the same parade as, say, Hindus or whatever. But at least give the Christians the option to say yes or no to participating in the parade. They're perfectly free to say either yes, we'd love to - or no thank you, we'll just have our own parade instead.

I also want to point out that the parade itself was clearly NOT canceled. The writer of the entry that got on RC did not explain this very well, and those readers who only read that entry and not the whole article got the wrong idea. I could tell by reading the notes.

I don't see how one parade in one city in the US is an attack on the First Amendment - and as far as I can see, this isn't a First Amendment issue anyway. The First Amendment describes the limitations Congress has put upon itself with regard to such things as a state religion and freedom of speech, expression, the press, and the right to peaceably assemble and address grievances. But it applies to CONGRESS ONLY - read the words exactly as they appear on the page. "CONGRESS shall make no law..."

It doesn't apply to the states, or to even more local governments like counties or cities.

The states were left to draw up their own constitutions and make their own statements about religion and so forth.

The language used in the entry I read was very panicky - and the notes I read were just as panicky as well, esp. from those who did not bother to read the actual article. I think the entry created a field of panicky energy where people were just firing off without any rational thought at all. God forbid their words had been weapons and people were just randomly shooting off into a crowd. How many people would have been dead by the end of such an exchange?

This is why it's so important to get to the SOURCE of things, not just rely on hearsay and secondhand information.

One note that struck me very strongly talked about an alleged amendment in the U.S. Constitution that dealt with separation of church and state. I'm sorry, but as much as I myself would like to see it, there is no such amendment there. I've read the actual text of the U.S. Constitution several times, and that phrase (separation of church and state) isn't used in the document at all.

People REALLY need to sit down and read important documents like the Constitution before spewing off about it. People need to make VERY SURE they can really back up any statements they make about things like that. It's too important to get wrong. In the case of the Constitution, it's the most sacred civil document we have, more so than the Declaration of Independence. The U.S. Constitution is THE law 'round these parts.

And once people have actually read things like this, they need to make very sure they understand the meaning behind what they read - comprehension is a lost art these days, it seems to me.

I noticed a certain amount of contradiction in the entry too. The writer claimed to be agnostic, but then kept vigorously using inclusive language, saying things like "OUR beliefs." Using language like that indicates membership in that group of which one is speaking. Trust me - as a writer, as a person who appreciates the artistry of words, language is a very powerful and sublime instrument and must be used with care. At any rate, this writer needs to be more consistent when writing about these things, and be very careful about using certain phrases, or else his/her meaning will be taken completely wrong or out of context. Misunderstandings will ensue nine ways from Sunday.

I could go into a great amount of detail about what "agnostic" means and how it comes into English from the Greek, and how it's justthisclose to "atheist" but not quite the same thing -- but I'll save it.

Well, there it is. I wanted to get this off my chest. It's nothing to get excited about, it's not an attack on anyone's First Amendment rights REALLY, and Christmas hasn't been canceled by the city of Denver.

This is why, when I comment in my diary on articles like this, I include the actual text of the article so there is no mistake as to what I'm talking about. I set the text of the article apart from my text either with bold or color, to emphasize what is NOT my text and what IS my text.

Pleasure....

2004-12-04T09:17:00.000-08:00

Just got up from a little frisky fun with Joe. This is good. I'm going to have to shower because my fingers are all sticky - I'm on my period and I just masturbated myself, tampon-free, while he stroked me and talked to me. I became very aroused when thinking about an erotic dream I had last night, and I'm not one to be squeamish about my period and sexuality. Hey, to me the moistness feels really erotic. And there's the whole hormonal thing to think about...

Mmmm, I'm almost ready to do it again! But I must shower and dress so we can do something today....

Odd Survey

2004-10-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

Ladies...do you really have orgasms?
Absolutely. But ONLY when I do it myself. No partner has ever been able to get me there.

Men, (jerry, you're the only man who reads me)...do you care whether we fake it or not?

Are pedicures/manicures a waste of money?
Not if it helps a person feel better about themselves.

Do you stick your tongue in his/her ear?
Forgot to answer this one....I don't have anyone to do that to. But no, it seldom occurs to me.

Hickies...yes or no.
Eh. I can take them or leave them.

Anal sex, yes or no. (please explain why...details appreciated)
HELL FUCK YES! YES YES YES! WANT WANT WANT! Because it just FEELS SO DAMN GOOD! Yes it's painful, but that's part of the pleasure...

Porn...yes or no. As in, do you mind if your man/woman has porn.
Depends on whether or not it interferes with the sex life between me and my partner. My ex let it interfere - he jerked off to porn more than he made love to me, and never made time for me. THAT is a problem.

dogs or cats or fish?
Yes please.

If a man tells you he doesn't like fake boobs or strippers should you believe him?
If a man is standing alone in the forest with no woman around to hear him and he opens his mouth to speak, is he STILL wrong? 'Nuff said.

does it matter?
*grin*

You have 12 dollars to get you through til the end of the week (lets say it's Wednesday) and you pass a man who looks truly downtrodden with a sign asking for "help". Do you help?
This is why I collect Subway stamps. I give them to homeless people so they can eat, and so I don't have to take the chance on giving them cash that they'll spend on drugs or booze.

What sexual scenario turns you on the most? boy/girl, boy/girl/girl, boy/boy/girl, girl/girl, boy/boy, orgy
Yes please - and why stop there? *eg*

what taboo thing do you enjoy that you would die if anyone found out?
::ZIPS IT::

Kerry or Bush?
KERRY KERRY KERRY KERRY KERRY KERRY!!!!!!!!!

horses or lions?
Yes please

coke or dr. pepper?
Coke

twinkies?
I guess I'd better get while the gettin's good...Hostess is filing for bankruptcy

if you HAD to get a tatoo...what would it be and where would you put it?
A tree...one side all green and lovely, one side all afire. It is a symbol from Celtic mythology showing the interaction of this world with the Otherworld. I'm not sure where it'd go.

chicken or beef?
Yes please

football or baseball?
No thank you

black or white?
Blue & white

how much do you like sex? *rests chin in hand* tell me all about it.
There are moments when I cannot contain myself and I MUST HAVE IT. There are moments when I couldn't care less. It might be a hormonal thing.

Just Some Thoughts

2004-10-16T15:04:00.000-07:00

It's fairly quiet here right now.

I just got in from Legible Leftovers up in Longwood. (Now there's a nice alliterative sentence to say.) I got the Sacred Path cards by Jamie Sams...only $10!

Something about them spoke to me in a very mystical way.

Normally I feel rather uncomfortable going in for Native spiritual ideas, because I am white and I feel I have no right to move in on their spiritual territory...but if the truth be told, I'm moving into a generic spiritual path that doesn't have a name or a specific form of the Divine.

"Great Spirit" or "the Inner Light" are doing it for me. Maybe I'm becoming a New Ager.

Maybe I'm a Universalist, a Transcendentalist, something like that.

Who can say they have a monopoly on the Spirit?

I have had a mystical vision, and mine is no less legitimate than anyone else's, despite what SOME might say.

I'll have to look through these cards...

Passing Comments

2004-10-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

First of all, happy birthday to Sean Lennon. Hard to believe he is 29 years old today. Yup, next year he'll be 30.

I feel old.

I want to rant about something. Why is it that men have this thing where all they want to talk about with any woman online is sex? It's like first thing they ask you in chat or an email is "how big are your breasts" or "do you have a pic" so they can see you naked and all that.

Guys.....for a lot of us, this does nothing but turn us OFF.

This is treating us like we are meat. Jesus H. Christ, men, if all you want is tits and twat, go get a blowup doll. I, and many other bbws like me, actually have a brain and a heart to take into consideration.

For those who don't know, because I always get this question when I use this term, bbw = big beautiful woman. It's a size-positive word for those of us size 16 and over. And yes, there are men out there who like bbws. Rude comments from the peanut gallery will be satirized, so be warned. I've had a LOT of practice at that, and you really don't want me to go there.

I suppose in a way, it's just as shallow for a man to look specifically for bbws as it is for a man to look for a skinny chick. And perhaps it's to be expected, that men who look for a certain body type are just going to treat women as objects and that's that.

Preferring bbws over thin women IS a form of objectifying women. It's still looking at the body and not taking the heart and mind into consideration.

It's so frustrating. No woman (except for Vickie) wants to be treated like a walking cum rag. We DO like sex, and we like it a LOT - but there is more to life than just "wham bam thank you ma'am."

Will men never GET IT? Do they never grow up and get over it?

I just had to vent about that.

Are We DONE YET???

2004-09-29T20:31:00.000-07:00

I live in Florida. You know, the Plywood State.

We've had our asses kicked by huge hurricanes 4 times this year.

I'm sick to death of them.

Charley I survived alone in my apartment. I didn't think there was any need to move. But it was the most frightening two hours of my life that night. Charley knocked my power out for five days, so I went to stay with my friend Shannon in Apopka, who did NOT lose power from Charley. I took the cat with me too.

For Frances, I packed up my cat and some clothes and headed out to Shannon's house. Once again, no power loss.

I did the same thing for Jeanne.

Moving my ass in and out of my own apartment three times in the last 6 weeks is damn draining. And because of the sort of Pavlovian conditioning, I was almost afraid to come back home because I thought I'd have to turn around and leave again. I was literally getting panic attacks at the thought of coming back. I thought another hurricane would come through and trash it all.

But, I sustained NO damage to my apartment or my car or my person or my cat during these storms. I was inconvenienced, but not harmed.

I did do some rune magic to protect my home and my car....it's always good to cover the bases.

But I have to say - I never want to live through another hurricane for the rest of my life. I don't like them. I'd rather deal with snow than another hurricane. I want to go back up North.

Here's hoping I can get there. Here's hoping that even though we're looking at some very active hurricane seasons from here on out for the next 20 years or so, they won't come HERE all the time. Damn, when you look at the paths these blasted things have taken, X marks the spot right smack on Orlando!

And that loop de loop thing that Jeanne did out in the Atlantic then came back at us to pound us - that's just SO wrong in SO many ways.

But - I have a new car. I bought an 05 Corolla. It's dark blue, and needs a name.

I have learned a few things from these hurricanes, however.

1: You learn the importance of friends and community. Having someone to stay with is one of the biggest stress-easers during a hurricane. No one should have to face a hurricane alone. You also learn compassion for those who don’t come through so fortunate, and quite often what happens is one has this urge to help one’s neighbor. “I didn’t have it so bad,” one thinks, “so how can I help those who did?”

2: You learn just how much Spam you can stand.

3: You learn that your own personal reserves of endurance are a lot more elastic than you probably originally surmised. There’s no end to how much the human spirit can really take. You also learn just how strong you are – once you’re in it, and committed to riding it out, you’d be amazed at what kind of reserves for survival that calls up in a person.

4: You really learn to live in the moment on nice days between hurricanes. Right now the sun is out, the clouds are dispersing, and a lot of people might have a hard time appreciating this, out of fear that it will be taken away again by yet another hurricane. But I for one am glad I learned a degree of meditation, because I can stop, breathe, and smile in the moment. I came through. I’m here. I’m alive NOW. Every breath becomes nothing short of miraculous.

5: You very quickly learn priorities. Yes, you do want to protect your belongings, but the most important thing to preserve is your own life. Things like houses and cars and boats – that’s just stuff that can be replaced. Human life, however, can never be replaced. So far, the death toll from Jeanne is 6 people (as of 7am today). That number might rise. But even one death is one too many.

6: Convoys of power crews and tree crews become a beautiful sight. I gave the thumbs up to a group of line techs here from Maryland and they waved at me in return. Something in you wants to really give back in return for the sacrifices people have made, coming here from out of state to help us in our recovery from the most bizarre hurricane season on record. Many people were taking bottled water out to the crews who were slaving away in heat they just weren’t accustomed to – these people are such a blessing.

7: You learn a certain kind of resourcefulness that involves saving and washing out EVERY milk jug you ever purchase – in case you need to fill it with water at the drop of a hat for a hurricane. It beats getting into fights for bottled water at the store.

These are just a few things I thought of off the top of my head, as to what living through hurricanes can teach a person.

From Seshen's Blog

2004-08-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

Seshen got this from Witches Weekly, and I thought it would be a good tool to examine the reasons why I became dissatisfied with the Pagan world. I think it's important to examine this and really get clear about some things, and to honestly put forward the truth about how I feel.

What do you find most annoying about the Pagan Community?

Oh geez, MOST annoying? Oh dear...

Well, I have to admit that I don't like the way that a lot of people who call themselves Wiccan or Pagan interpret the Charge of the Goddess as license to indulge in anything they want, taking it to a level of "if it feels good do it" kind of thing. It's that "all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals" statement that does it. I am of the opinion that MOST people in the Pagan/Wiccan world, for all that they will cross-examine Christianity and apply such intense critical thinking to THAT, don't apply the same critical thinking to "all acts of love and pleasure" as well. When it comes to that, the eyes glaze over and the blissed out smile comes over the face, and it's "yeah let's go boink like bunnies or drink like fish or get stoned all the time" or whatever. I HAVE seen a lot of that in my years, and I really think it reflects very badly and makes the WHOLE alternative spirituality movement look like it's just an excercise in/excuse for self-indulgence.

Might as well be a Satanist if that's going to be a "spiritual practice."

As a woman, and a woman who has dated/partnered with a Heathen man, I have to admit that I felt like it was just another excuse to treat women in the old Madonna/Whore dichotomy. I think it limits women in a lot of ways; I think it tells women "you are to be sexy, yes, and also intuitive and always gentle and loving and you aren't supposed to be aggressive and angry and destructive and intellectual and you are supposed to INTUIT and not KNOW, just FEEL and don't bother with too much THINKING..." I could go on. I see it as being very much the same old same old that is perpetuated in Christianity.

That's why in my introductory questionnaire for the bookofshadows community, I put that I honor the Goddess I see in my mirror. I do not, in the face of even the Charge, set my mind aside and stop thinking. I'm coming to a point in my life where I will wrestle something to the very ground and make it grovel at my feet, because I'm in charge in my life. No one and nothing else is; I've spent too many years giving power away to other people and other institutions, and I'm up to the back teeth with it. Thus, I will not be spoon-fed belief even if it IS something like this. Even if it does purport to stroke my ego as a woman. I can't be a Satanist because I do not go in for the idea of just wanton self-indulgence with no responsibility; I will not use people in that way for my own benefit. But I will use the brain my Creator (be it male or female) gave me, and I will build a life for myself that is supporting and nurturing and positive.

Anyway, I think Seshen made a point in her journal about the Ordanes being hopelessly out of date and in some cases very sexist; I would think that many Wiccans would turn a very critical mind to "all acts" and realize how this can be abused and turned into an excuse to further treat women like sex objects AND to supposedly get women to agree to it by convincing them it is what a liberated sexuality is all about. Pah. Rubbish, says I. I do know this much - I am SO with Emer, that Irish heroine wooed by the great hero CuChulainn. She didn't just cave to him when he expressed an interest. She made him EARN her, and damn skippy too.

From "The Wooing Of Emer"

Cuchullain strode up to Emer, who recognised him. She faced him squarely with fire in her eyes and said:

“May your road be blessed!”

“May the apple of your eye see only good,” he replied. Cuchullain felt his breath catch in his lungs at the sight of her breasts which revealed themselves over her bodice, and lapsed into riddle, the better to keep her foster-sisters in the dark.

“I see a sweet country, wherein I could rest my weapon.” he said.

And Emer replied, “No man will travel this country you purvey until he has killed one hundred men at every ford between Scenmenn ford on the river Ailbine to Banchuing, where the frothy Brea makes the Fedelm leap.”

“In that sweet country, regardless, I will rest my weapon.”

And she said again “ No man will travel this country until he has done the feat of the salmon leap carrying twice his weight in gold and struck down three groups of nine men with a single stroke, leaving the middle man of each nine unharmed.”

“In that sweet country I’ll rest my weapon,” Cuchullain said.

“No man will travel this country,” she said, “ who hasn’t gone sleepness from Samain, when the summer goes to it’s rest, until Imbolc, when the ewes are milked at spring’s beginning; from Imbolc to Beltine at the summer’s beginning and from Beltine to Bron Trogain, earth’s sorrowing autumn.”

“It is said and done,” said Cuchullain, and he returned to his chariot and slept that night in Eamain Macha.

Go Emer. Go Emer. Go Emer. There's a reason the mythology is there. Learn it. There's a treasure trove to be mined there.

I also cannot BEAR the oh so lamentable historical scholarship I see so much of in the Wiccan world specifically, and what it has resulted in. How many blogs and diaries have I seen where the writer has claimed to be Wiccan and then spouts off something to the effect of the Iron and Bronze Age Celts being Wiccans? ARRRRRRRGH!!!! Wicca and its "harm none" ethic would not have a snowball's chance in a tribal culture that was as warlike and aggressive as the Celts were! Jeez o' Flip, folks, the Celts were HEADHUNTERS!!! Besides, their cosmology involved a threefold universal structure - land, sea and sky. Not the four elements and Spirit - as far as I have been given to understand, that's a Mediterranean tradition. From the Greeks. Not a Northern European thing at all.

Are there any specific symbols that are sacred to you or that you hold close to you?

Yes - the labrys. That is one symbol that just utterly sings to me, and did so long before the pentacle ever did.

The triskele - it speaks to me of my Celtic heritage.

I'm coming to have a friendlier relationship with the pentacle as a symbol of Venus, of woman. It took a long time for that symbol to sing to me.

What's one thing that you think the Pagan Community needs?

REAL historical scholarship. People need to become a LOT more disciplined and a LOT more demanding of the writers that get published. People need to really look to their sources and say, "OK, so what ARE your qualifications anyway? Do you have a degree from an accredited university? Does your paycheck depend upon disseminating accurate information, as a university professor's would? ARE you in fact in a tenured teaching post at a respectable school?" See, Silver Ravenwolf has NO historical/academic credentials at all. Her sojourn in the metaphysical world is nice and all, but that's only half the picture. She and people like her (Kisma Stepanich comes to mind) would NEVER be able to pass a basic first year history exam. People need to learn to appreciate writers like:

H.R. Ellis Davidson
Nigel Pennick
Edred Thorsson
Norman Davies

But unfortunately, many of the books that are produced by people like this come off as really dry and boring and most people don't understand (though they need to) the connection between learning real history, preserving the cultural ways of an ancient people, and modern day Wicca.

This brings me to the question of cultural ways. One of the reasons this irritates me so badly is because there ARE people out there who are working very, very hard to rebuild ancient Celtic folkways - one of my coworkers is one such person. He is of the Clan MacKay, he is a Highland Games athlete (and he's pretty hot, as you can imagine of any man who tosses a caber), he is meticulous in learning his clan's history and the history of the Scottish people from whom he is descended, and he's not going to stand for any of this Wiccan tendency to disseminate such nonsense as his people were Wiccans.

It really cuts at the dignity of his clan, for people who claim to be Wiccan to do this to his people. When they do this, they are doing far more harm than good, and Wiccans who engage in this kind of behavior need to understand this. A people's very real heritage is at stake here. It's not something to mess with lightly. Imagine if someone was disseminating false information about people in YOUR family. Wouldn't you get a little HOT about that???

Well, there it is. I have a feeling I might get flamed for it, but before anyone starts...pause a moment and think.

The Body Of A Woman

2004-08-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

All women have beautiful bodies
By Elaine Charkowski

"Taught from infancy that beauty is woman's sceptre, the mind shapes itself to the body, and roaming round its gilt cage, only seeks to adorn its prison. &emdash;"Mary Wollstonecraft, reformer and writer (1759-1797)

I read a recent article about modern women having parts of their toes removed (causing crippling pain) so their feet can fit "fashionable" shoes. Women in China had their feet bound and were crippled for a thousand years (three inch long feet were "fashionable") before foot binding was outlawed.Why do many women actually pay doctors to "fashion" them to fit men's ideas of "fashion?" Why is it legal for doctors to mutilate women's healthy bodies?

The "beauty" industry reaps billions of dollars annually by inflicting physical and psychological abuse upon women. Profits are maximized by exploiting womens' negative, media-induced feelings about their bodies.

In her essay 'Woman as Other," Simone de Beauvoir describes how women are regarded in male-supremacist societies, including ours. "She is defined and differentiated with reference to man and not he with reference to her. She is the incidental, the inessential, as opposed to the essential. He is the Subject, the Absolute. She is "The Other."

Unfortunately for women, patriarchy (male supremacist society) spans the globe. As a result, patriarchal men define themselves as the human race (mankind) the "perfect norm" against which women are measured -- and found lacking. They project their artificial standards of beauty onto women's bodies like blank movie screens. Women are at risk if they internalize these standards. Surveys by the Kinsey Institute found that American women have more negative feelings about their bodies than women in any other culture studied. Like clothing and cars, women's body shapes go in and out of style. Today, Marilyn Monroe's beautiful, voluptuous figure would be regarded as obese!

The primary source of women's discontent comes from their second-class status in sexist, male-supremacist society. However, the "beauty" industry uses mass media (owned and controlled by men) to falsely attribute women's discontent to personal negative feelings about body image. Attempting to banish discontent, women try to conform to "the perfect norm" by changing themselves -- not the male-supremacist society.

Due to unrelenting brainwashing, millions of women and girls hate their natural, beautiful bodies, spending time and money to change them. Thus, the energy women could have spent transforming our violent, woman-hating society is turned against them, consumed by the eternal and often unattainable quest for "beauty." Consider this woman-hating ad for Woodland Park Hospital's Cosmetic Surgery Center:"A normal shaped bust. A flat tummy. Regular shaped thighs. We all know what would make us look right but a lifetime of wishing won't make it so."

A "normal" bust? "Regular" shaped" thighs? Looking "right?" By whose standards?

In her book Backlash , Susan Faludi wrote about the "fashionable" Victorian wasting-away look. It fueled America's first dieting mania and fatal eating disorders. Many Victorian women died after taking toxic potions to achieve a chalky-looking complexion. Another toxic "beauty aid" was Fowler's Solution (containing arsenic), which supposedly "revitalized" aging skin

Unfortunately, the demand for a corpse-like appearance is still with us. Skeletal models stare out at us, gaunt and death-like, from the pages of male-owned "women's" magazines. Over a century later, the cult of beauty still pressures women to risk their lives for the "ideal" body. Many young girls, vulnerable to negative media messages about how they "should" look, begin dieting at age ten or younger!

Twenty years ago, Retin-A (which causes cancer, birth defects and severe dermatitis) was prescribed by doctors to combat wrinkles. Botox is the latest toxic wrinkle-reducing craze. Botulinum toxin (which causes botulism) is one of the most poisonous substances on earth. Botox, a refined strain of this deadly toxin is injected into women's facial muscles to paralyze them to reduce wrinkles. However, wrinkles return and repeated injections are necessary. Allergan Inc., which manufactures Botox, anticipates making billions. Incredibly, doctors can legally inject a deadly toxin into women's faces without the Food and Drug Administration's approval.

In the 1970s, feminism cut into the beauty industry's profits by encouraging women to feel better about who they are rather than how they look. "The industry aimed to restore its own economic health by persuading women that they were the ailing patients," Faludi said. Beauty became medicalized and a lab-coated army of doctors prescribed many bizarre and expensive treatments including skin injections, face lifts, liposuction, hormone treatments, silicone implants, injections of mares' urine and plastic surgery for virtually every inch of the torso. One doctor even promised to reduce women's height by sawing their leg bones!

The cult of beauty has serious social implications for women. Faludi notes that in times of backlash against women's rights, unhealthy beauty standards converge with social campaigns against women. By contrast, during periods when the culture is more receptive to women's rights, "athleticism, health and vivid color define female beauty."

In the first two decades of the twentieth century, female athletes outshone movie stars and set healthier standards of beauty than today's. However, when women gained political power in 1920 by winning the right to vote, the first Miss America "beauty" pageant was established. The backlash began and continues today.

Health requirements vary for each woman. Moderate exercise and maintaining the weight necessary for cardiovascular health should always be encouraged. Unfortunately, women often endanger their health by jogging obsessively, losing dangerous amounts of weight and even going under the knife to become "beautiful."

We live in a society that regards women's living, breathing bodies as inanimate objects to be "sculpted." The fact that women experience pain and even die from various "sculpting" techniques is ignored. Drs. W. Earle Matiry Jr. and Patrick Chavis had women patients die during liposuction. Lucha Villa, one of Mexico's most popular singers and film stars, went into a coma and barely survived.

Dr. Robert Harvey became known as the "breast man of San Francisco." During a luncheon at the all-male Bohemian Club, he showed slides of Asian women whose breasts he had "occidentalized," making them (in his opinion) "more feminine." For women nervous about surgery, Harvey's associate suggested facial injections of collagen. "It's a good way for them (women) to get their feet wet -- to cross the bridge to surgery."

A 1988 Dow Corning Corporation study found that silicone gel implants caused cancer in more than 23 percent of rats tested. The Food and Drug Administration dismissed the findings.

How many precious woman-hours that remain after a hectic day of work and child care are wasted obsessing about body image? Imagine how our society would benefit if the billions of dollars consumed by the "cult of beauty" were spent on housing, education and job training for women, especially those stuck in poverty. These billions would be better spent for battered women's shelters, health clinics and quality day care for women who seek education and career training in order to better their lives.

The next time you look in the mirror and catch yourself negatively judging your body, remind yourself that these thoughts are not your own! They were injected into your mind by a woman-hating culture.

Always remember, when you look into the mirror a beautiful Goddess is smiling back at you!

My comment: Beauty shouldn't even be an issue one way or another, it seems to me. But I could be wrong. Women could possibly enjoy expressing themselves with makeup and clothing that makes them look a certain way and blah blah. I think the problem is, too many people allow Madison Avenue to dictate to them what the beauty standard will be to begin with. And that goes for BOTH men and women. Not enough people of BOTH genders are standing up and saying THIS IS BS. Don't show me the Hooters girl and create that as a standard of beauty. Geez.

I've been doing some thinking. Of late, I have wondered if I wanted to be Pagan any more. I wasn't sure that it was a good idea for me, because it seems that in that world, I'm going to meet people who don't share my values, such as fidelity and no use of illegal intoxicants and all that. I don't fit in because I'm too conservative.

So I thought I'd check out the Quakers, and while they are very nice and there is much in their beliefs I agree with, I feel like expressing my own beliefs is very un-Quaker. The Inner Light to me would not be Jehovah God, and doesn't have anything to do with Christ. It's GODDESS, at least in my case - because I am female. It is the Goddess that I AM. I don't know if Quakers would go for that.

*sigh* WILL I EVER FIND A PLACE TO LAND???

Churches in historic pact

2004-07-31T15:13:00.000-07:00

By Barney Zwartz
Religion Editor
July 26, 2004

Fifteen Australian churches have signed a covenant of co-operation that leaders hail as one of the most significant events in Australian church history.

Uniting Church of Australia president Dean Drayton, calling it "a really dramatic statement of intent and hope", said yesterday the covenant could not have happened anywhere else in the world.

Australia's Catholic ecumenical leader, Townsville Bishop Michael Putney, said: "It's not rhetoric or pious talk, it's a commitment to act. This is a very significant ecumenical event in Australian church history."

The 15 churches committed themselves to recognising common baptism and ministry, sharing property and clergy, and developing closer relations.

The churches are members of the National Council of Churches in Australia, which recently held its fifth forum in Adelaide.

They comprise the Catholic, Anglican, Uniting, Lutheran and Congregationalist churches, the Churches of Christ, Quakers, Salvation Army and seven Orthodox churches.

Council general secretary John Henderson said not every church had signed up to every section of the covenant, such as intercommunion.

Communion is still the biggest challenge: the Catholics and Orthodox churches do not allow people not baptised into their churches to take the sacrament. Few of the 15 churches have signed up to that.

Nevertheless, Mr Henderson said the covenant was a a special contribution. "We are trying to tease out what churches mean by common faith and common cause. We are very concerned about developing better ways for the churches to be in unison."

Mr Henderson said the public would notice when churches started sharing property and clergy, which was already happening.

"I recently visited a church near Perth that had both Catholic and Uniting Church signs out front, and which share equally," he said.

Bishop Putney, chairman of the Australian Catholic Bishops' Conference ecumenism committee, said yesterday the covenant was "a serious commitment we make to each other to acknowledge where we have reached and commit ourselves to go further".

All 15 churches agreed to deepen their relationships, to join in common prayer and to seek a more visible expression of unity. All but four Orthodox churches agreed to share physical resources, such as church buildings, and eight churches agreed to pursue common mission and ministry.

Anglicans agreed to share ordained ministers with the Lutheran and Uniting churches, and the Uniting Church with the Churches of Christ and Lutherans.

Dr Drayton said it was an enormous step for all the national churches to say they want to work towards union in the future.

"It's distant, but the intention is there. I don't think this could have happened in any other country in the world," he said.

"Since the (16th century) Reformation churches have more commonly kept on dividing and dividing again. But here are representatives of the church saying let's work towards a common goal. That's a really dramatic statement of intent and hope."

My comment: This would NEVER happen in the United States. Too many Christians here believe they have the monopoly on truth, and they'd never unite with another denomination that supports gay marriage for example. Everyone wastes so much time with finger-pointing here and therefore doesn't get on with creating a better world.

Controversial Topic

2004-07-23T03:12:00.000-07:00

I've sort of got myself into a weird debate on Bloop about human sexuality - and child masturbation.

It started when I praised former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who (among other progressive policies) supposedly encouraged first graders to masturbate. Two people came forward and said this was basically not good; they expressed their disapproval of her ideas on first-grader masturbation. One person even equated this with sexual harrassment, a rather extreme view (and to me the two are completely unrelated).

But here's the thing.

First graders DO masturbate anyway. Whether *encouraged to* or not.

I wasn't encouraged to, but I remember doing it. I remember doing it before I started school. And yes, since this is true confessions time, I remember feeling myself having orgasms and enjoying it.

To me, there's simply nothing wrong with that. I cannot find a single thing wrong with what I was doing.

I have also experienced sexual assault. I know quite well what *unwelcome* sexual advances feel like. Between that girl in 4th grade who threatened to beat me up if I didn't cater to her sexual needs, and my drunken stepfather - yes, I'd say I know what REAL harrassment and even assault is like.

I see absolutely no - and I mean no - similarity in the two.

The one is a bit of self-induced, private sexual pleasure. And yes, don't look so horrified - kids do it too. If you look it up, there are plenty of sites out there for healthy ways for a parent to deal with a preschooler's masturbation.

Never mind the fact that there is more than one way to define "masturbation" itself. It is not even restricted to sexual stimulation. But for the moment we'll leave it at that.

I have to get to work; more on this later.

Note To Mike On Bloop

2004-07-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

Just for the record, here's a note I posted to Mike, one of the admins on the troubled BloopDiary:

Really, I shouldn't have to justify one movement of my little finger to anyone, let alone you.

I do as I will and I have my reasons for it. But since you asked:

Here's why I am here:

http://www.bloopdiary.com/viewfront.php?id=918

For a very long time, that writer did not have diaries on other sites after she left OD. I wanted to stay in touch with her, because we have become friends over the last 3+ years.

How much clearer do I need to make it??? STACE IS THE REASON I SET UP A DIARY HERE. Got it yet??? Understand?? I'm not here because Bloop has better features or better administration (God knows as far as I'm concerned, administration here is a serious case of "Car 54 Where Are You" or better yet Barney Fife Strikes Again) or whatever. I'm here because it's how I keep up with Stace.

Now, she has started diaries on blogger and inthewire. Good. I hope to contine reading her there.

See, what YOU are failing to understand is that I am seeing poor customer service here, that I'm not willing to pay for. And I know from customer service - the industry I work in is dependent upon it. I work for North America's largest trade show/special events contractor, and some of our clients include the Republican Party, Disney, Microsoft, the American Dental Association, Harley Davidson, Fiserv, and many, many other multi-million dollar corporations. It doesn't DO to have poor customer service skills when dealing with the NFL or Daytona International Speedway or Mr. Gates' office or any such client. I'd be fired on the spot if I treated any of those clients the way I've been treated here.

As far as using your money for "hate notes" - first of all, has anyone listened to a damn thing I said in any note I've ever left, like how pathetic management is here, how I've been verbally abused by management, how management doesn't follow their own goddamn rules, yet they beat us writers over the head with it and use it to threaten us (kinda like Jehovah God and the laws of Moses - and I didn't take it from Him either - so if God can't intimidate me, you certainly won't)???

No.

Beyond that - hey, you're the one who has voluntarily knocked himself out for this venture. I didn't force you to do it. No one did. You can always put a stop to it if you don't like what we do with your money.

Don't like it? Quit. It's that simple. You are free to leave.

As am I. You see, I emailed Stace and I told her what was going on with Bloop, and I really didn't care if Bloop fell. I've not forgotten the way I was treated here - the way my friend Jarred was treated here (and he hasn't donated either, please note) - the way favorites are played here - and I said to her that I would not be donating to Bloop, so where could I find her?

That's when she emailed me back, just today at work, and told me she has new blogs set up.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If Bloop falls, that'll force her hand to write on blogger.com or inthewire and I'll still have contact with her and this place will have imploded!

Over and out.

Write? What's That?

2004-07-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

I just haven't felt too much like writing a lot of personal stuff lately.

But I do have a lot of things on my mind.

When do I not?

ARGH the dog upstairs is going berserk and I'm not going to sleep tonight!

He's digging at the door.....barking.....I'm wondering if he's crated while his owner went out....this is going to make me NUTS!

I've never heard noises like this coming from up there. Usually he just plays loud music and walks like an elephant. I have the most inconsiderate upstairs neighbor in the world.

I saw Joe briefly for breakfast today. He was very nice to me and gave me lots of snuggles. I needed that.

He did kiss me some, and claimed he still loves me. He claims he never stopped.

And then he held me some more and told me I'm very beautiful. He was exceptional to me today. We talked and joked and kissed and cuddled like teenagers.

If only. Yeah, there's something there when we look at each other...there's no doubt. We both feel it, and it seems the more we fight it the more it makes itself known.

Well, I don't have to resolve things TODAY. At least, I don't think so.

Too Funny!

2004-07-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

YOUR NEIGHBOR IS A WITCH IF... By: Andie Gilmour

Fifty sure-fire ways to detect paganism without having to resort to a dunking stool or wart-inspection.

1) Never puts any rubbish out on refuse-collection day. I mean, recycling and composting is fine, but you can take it too far.

2) You casually ask what phase the moon is in, and she tells you down to the exact number of days, hour and minute of rising, position on horizon, and current angle of declination.

3) All the stray cats in the neighbourhood tend to congregate in her garden (and use your own as their litter box).

4) A screech owl has chosen the lamp-post outside her house as its favorite calling-post. That's just when it's getting warm at night and you like to sleep with the window open.

5) Doesn't cut down the weeds in her garden; in fact it looks more like she's cultivating them. Needless to say, you get the seeds wafting over onto your pristine lawn.

6) Most of her clothes on the washing line are black.

7) The local kids talk in whispers as they go past her house, then start running at the last moment.

8) Nobody trick-or-treats her house; not after the incident when the kids' costumes were less scary than hers when she opened the door to them. (She was embracing the Crone that year no doubt!)

9) Footprints on the roof. And the trees in her flight-path have been pruned down. I swear it's true!

10) She can't even make a simple sandwich without adding fresh herbs to it. And don't ask her for a cup of tea unless you want something yellow coloured and smelling of flowers.

11) She hardly ever gets junk mail. You ask her what her secret is and she confides that she returns it to sender after writing something on in strange curly writing.

12) When you pop next door for a chat, the kettle is always already on.

13) The Jehovah's Witnesses never call (not anymore; not after the last time *grin*.

14) Keeps the local scented-candle shop solvent.

15) Has a pond full of frogs (and you haven't seen that bothersome double-glazing salesman around for a while).

16) She's always smiling, darn her!

17) She goes dressed as normal to a Hallowe'en fancy dress party; and wins first prize.

18) Her house always smells of incense.

19) Has named her four cats Hecate, Kali, Diana, and Moonbeam. (Or her rats Devon and Cornwall)

20) Her bumper sticker reads "I brake for toads".

21) Frequently gets raided by the drug squad who confiscate large amounts of dried green leaves; they always return them with apologies after analysis.

22) At Christmas, it seems like half the garden has been moved into the house.

23) You sometimes hear the sound of singing and dancing through the wall. If you look out of the window, it is usually a full moon.

24) She was given a bodhram drum for her birthday. And she plays it at midnight in the fields. And she's got a blasted tamborine.

25) You discover that her realistic resin skull ornament in her living room, actually is real.

26) You catch her washing a crystal ball along with the dishes.

27) She wears a lot of silver jewelry, even when doing the gardening. And bat earrings for goodness-sake.

28) You knock on her door and she answers it naked except for a toweling robe. You apologize for disturbing her in the bath, but notice that her hair isn't wet.

29) Irritating tendency to hum a lot. What's she got to be so happy about, huh?

30) She has a tame robin that will eat from her hand in the garden. That can't be natural.

31) Never catches a cold, even though she walks barefoot most of the time. In the snow as well.

32) Doesn't kill spiders. Not even big hairy long-legged ones that suddenly appear from the waste-pipe whilst you're having a bath.

33) She listens to what you are saying like she really cares.

34) She has lots of female friends who come round every few months. When you ask what they get up to, she tells you that they just have cakes and ale and a good natter.

35) You catch her hugging a tree.

36) Her dinner-set is decorated with Celtic patterns.

37) She has a mail-order account with a semi-precious gem wholesaler.

38) You notice that the parish priest crosses himself whenever he walks past her house.

39) She never watches television. And she has shelves full of books with black spines and silver-lettered titles.

40) To your certain knowledge she has never set foot in the local church. In fact, you have heard rumours that she has been barred from it.

41) She makes jars of quince and mandrake relish for the Women's Institute coffee morning jumble sale.

42) You ask to borrow a pack of cards for an impromptu bridge evening, and there are 78 in the pack.

43) You have never known her to visit her GP.

44) When you talk with her, she maintains eye contact all the time.

45) Expectant mothers are forever visiting her. Also women who become expectant mothers a month after visiting her.

46) You ask her for suggestions for nice walks in the area, and they all go by way of stone circles and strange earth mounds.

47) She only buys organic. And you just bet that she's a vegetarian as well. (Well, maybe not stricly vegetarian....)

48) When you ask her about her vacation plans, she tells you she will be camping in a tee-pee in the Brecon Beacons.

49) There aren't any mirrors in her house. Or clocks.

50) She tells you that she is coming out of the broom closet, joins Witches' Voice, and erects a stained-glass pentacle window in her front door . Ooo what a give-away!

I LOVE Plan B

2004-07-15T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm NOT pregnant!

Yay!

OK for those who don't know....

Independence Day weekend, Joe and I got a little intimate and had a "wardrobe malfunction." Damn thing slipped. Fortunately, it had spermicide on it, as well as some spermicide I got from the drugstore.

OK fine. I tested myself for ovulation - that came back negative. I went to the ER to get Plan B, the emergency contraceptive. Took that the very same night, and the 2nd pill the next morning per the instructions.

Apparently it worked. Where's my box of OBs??

Meanwhile, for all women out there - please know this, that yes, Plan B can be effective for preventing pregnancy in the uterus when used properly (within 72 hours of unprotected intercourse or a failure of some other contraception, and it is NOT to be used in place of other contraceptives), but that doesn't mean one cannot have an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy. This, of course, is quite dangerous, and I was freaking out for a while there. If it was just a normal "oopsie" and I could drive to Tampa to terminate, fine.

But since it could have been ectopic, that would have meant serious surgical procedures. From what I've been reading, Plan B does not *cause* ectopic pregnancy, but it doesn't *prevent it* either.

Any ladies out there who think they may need this, be aware of how it works. Read any medical journals you can get your hands on with an eye to Plan B articles.

And track your cycles here: My Monthly Cycles and be responsible for your fertility. It's not difficult at all, takes only a few minutes, and is one small way one can take control over one's own life back into one's own hands where it belongs.

No Vision...

2004-07-12T03:52:00.000-07:00

I swear, Mom sometimes has no vision at all.

She can't see the pattern that is forming.

She can't see that George W. Bush is a mad, power hungry fascist who will do anything, including rape the Constitution, to get and stay in power AND make sure the American people don't question what he does.

He wants the population stupid and scared. That way they're easier to control.

Me, I'm starting to lose my fear of a potential terrorist attack. I think Bush is using it to keep the population terrified and in his thrall. This way they'll agree to anything he wants to do, even if it means giving up certain liberties. Even if it means sacrificing privacy.

It's possible that al-Quaeda has been thoroughly contained, and because we the people don't see what he sees, he knows all he has to do is drop that word and people panic and go along with whatever he wants.

Mom, you need to get out more.

No Way In Hell

2004-07-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

I got this private message on my other diary:

Yes i know its not all about spells, you have to have the right stuff, and really believe in it, and i do, i think im a natural witch, cause i've noticed lately, that when i am really sad or upset, its really sunny, and then when im like that, its starts to get grey and dark, and it rains, sometimes its really bad, others its just a drizzle, but lately its been bad cause of someone who really hurt me, and i know you cant really make a person love you, but i really care so deeply for him, and i need a spell to help me get him back, have him say that he missed me, and that he missed me, and ask me back out, i would really appreciate it............i've done a spell like this before, and it almost worked, but i found this guy, this guy named Steven, and i fell more in love with him, so i guess i broke that spell, and yeah, i dont have the book ne more, and i dont know how it went ne more, thankyou so much, laters *hugs*

Oh no no no no........

I can't do this. The only magic I'd recommend is healing magic, to get OVER this dude.

And what is this talk about being a "natural witch?" *frowns*

If I could, I'd say to her, Care for yourself, girl. You are all you've got in this life, so make sure you are taken care of first. Six of Pentacles, girlfriend.

Yikes.

Go Carie!

2004-07-11T17:13:00.000-07:00

Carie sent this to the Orlando Sentinel:

I read again today, Kathleen Parker's latest commentary on same sex marriages and wonder what planet she is living on. She looks through rose color glasses as she proclaims "No laws are saying that homosexuals don't have human dignity. There will never be a law defining human dignity and who is entitled to it except the United Nations. To be part of the human race, everyone is entitled to dignity and respect. Everyone is inherently good. She also states that marriage is for procreation (shortly stated), I'm sorry but marriage is the union of two people, they share the rest of their lives together, one does not marry to raise a child. A lot of what happens today in the news media regarding this whole issue revolves around the topic of hatred and ignorance. Hate crimes do exist, prejudice does exist. The FBI Crimes Statistics report, released in 2001, states that there were 1,317 reported anti-gay hate crimes in 1999. Sexual orientation related hate crimes rank third in the motivation. It has only been on the increase. Matthew Shepard was he was kidnapped and beaten, lashed to a fence crucifixion style, and left to die on the fence. His attackers thought they were acting in God's name. That sounds a bit lopsided to me. The minister up there was anti-gay and preached hatred. This event was a hate-crime. People wonder what prompted Hillary and Julie Goodridge to go as far as the Mass. Supreme Court to get approval to marry. They have been together for 17 years. They have a daughter who wondered why they were not married. When she was born, it was by an emergency C-section and Hillary was kept outside of the birth, from being with Julie as she was also barred from seeing her daughter because they did not have the state's recognition that they were married. Legal documents do not solve the problem yet. To be recognized as a couple affords them the rights any other married couple would have. Thankfully their daughter is not being raised to hate. This current administration promotes hatred and bigotry in what it
proclaims. This administration is backwards. Since when is it ok to promote marriage for poor females to rich men to lower the poverty rate? I think Mr. Bush ought to return to his ranch and stay put and leave the rest of us alone. Children today may be raised with hate, that is a definite but the parents teach it. I was not raised to hate. I had a late uncle who was homosexual and it did not tarnish me for life that he had a boyfriend whom I knew from the time that I was 4 and 5 years old. I thought nothing of it. People like Kathleen Parker need to really get off their high plateau of judgment and get to know those who are homosexual and she might even find they are actually human. Gasp!

She's enthusiastic, that's for sure.

Food for Thought

2004-07-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

Seen on another blog:

In the last entry I mentioned that I recognized common persuasive presentation techniques in Michael Moore's Farenheit 9/11. I've hear, certainly from no one here on Bloop, that he's stooping to propaganda to create an Anti-Bush film. (He needn't really use propaganda to do such a thing, but let's forget that for the time being.) I say it's not quite propaganda, but Moore runs the edge of the didactic line and also does use persuasive technique. There's nothing wrong with that.

Sometime in, oh, the sixth or seventh grade years we all learned about persuasive writing. (I liked it so much I took gratuitous college courses on persuasive writing.) There are many subtle techniques one can use in order to make a mind-altering argument.

Consider the Source

This would be (for our purposes) me. I'm the writer. My point of view is the source. If I'm going to write an essay/article/Bloop entry to try to change your minds on gay marriage, abortion or wether or not green is the new pink I've got to be very well-informed on my own point of view. For an effective argument, that is. You need to know every in and out of your own point of view, every loophole, every weak point...and every strong point. From here, you must master the English language in such a way as to present your point of view in an educated, clear and concise manner that is beyond reproach. Contractions, slang (unless denoted with "quotes") and coloquialisms have no place in your persuasive argument. Everything you say will be scrutinized, so it's best to refrain from arming the Other Side with grammatical pitfalls. (Hate me for what I write, not how I write it.)

Consider the Other Side

Not only should I, the writer, know the demographic I'm speaking to (white middle-aged, upper-middle-class Republican circus midgets?) but I need to know their general argument. What are the similarities and differences to my own point of view? What is their main beef with my idea?

Let's take the topic of Gay Marriage. I'm personally an advocate of same-sex marriages. I need to know how and why I feel this way and have strong evidence to support my stance. But I have to intuit what those against Gay Marriage will say before they say it. I have to answer their naysaying pre-emptively. To do this I have to know the mindset of these individuals...what kind of background does this majority share? What might make them feel this way?

Playing to Their Strengths

In the issue of Gay Marriage, the backbone of the argument is centered on religious morality, specifically Judeo-Christian morality. Knowing this can be helpful in constructing your argument. Build up a wall based on secular humanism and they'll tear it right down and turn a deaf ear to anything following your thesis statement. But speak from their point of view and your chances of being heard are far better. In essence, yoke their strength and use it against them. *nods* Part of what makes this effective is natural human ego. You begin by stroking said ego and also relating to this person on the basis of something they find tremendous strength in. Only when you rock the foundation does the building start to crumble. If you're truly out to change minds, you must begin from the ground level. And since most people are quite content to go on in their present mindsets, you'll have to do a little demolition.

It's at this time I'd like to point out a few "don'ts" of persuasive writing.

Don't pander to the desire to insult someone with a differing view. This demeans your argument as clearly you're groping for something to say and must lower yourself to the base human reflex of calling the other person a "poopy head". Keep the debate centered on the issue, not the person you're speaking with.

Don't play to change the minds of those who are vehemently on the other side of the fence. As any good politician will tell you, aim for those who are on the fence.

Don't let your own emotions cloud your judgement or thought process. Passionate emotions can be quite good to unleash in debates, but only at the oppurtune times. Otherwise, you're seen as an over-emotional fool leading with your heart and not your logical mind. It's best in the beginning to remain ice-cold and logical (think Vulcan) and gradually work in your own emotional content.

On the topic of emotion...

Playing to Their Emotions

This is the interesting part of persuasive technique. Play to their emotions but don't give in to your own. The emotional play is that which I see most in the abortion argument. Frankly, it bothers me because it's all that's used (see above Don't). The pictures of post-op fetuses, the wording used ... it's all there to play to your emotion. This goes back to knowing your audience. Most abortion arguments (90% I'd safely say) are aimed at women (since women are the ones with uteruses) ... women are believed to be highly emotional creatures and thus the argument is far best waged on this playing field. Or so goes the logic. This is best done not with visual aids but with the right words. Loading your ideas with well-placed words can be like adding arsenic to your opponent's tea. Any fact can be skewed with the right emphasis. Any phrase can be manipulated. Just as in speech emphasis on one word changes everything, altering one word to a slightly more graphic/loaded synonym will greatly effect the phrase.

Example: Three out of four people conclude that chewing gum after meals will diminish the possibilities of dental problems.

Simple enough, right?

How 'bout this one: 75% of dentists agree that chewing Trident after you eat will prevent tooth decay.

Subtle, but effective.

So, using the abortion argument let's start from the beginning.

Know thyself. For our purposes here, let's take the anti-abortion side (even though I'm personally pro-choice). This demographic refer to themselves as Pro-Life. Okay, what can we draw from this (as it is in itself a persuasive technique)? Pro-Life. As opposed to? Well the only other option is Pro-Death. And no one in their right mind would affiliate themselves with Pro-Death. So they're banking on a herding instinct to increase numbers. Oops, "we're"...(forgot I'm playing the other side today). Alright, so on the Pro-Life side we believe that all abortions are wrong. Life begins at fertilization and abortion ends that life, so under no circumstances should abortion be an option. We Pro-Lifers provide the option of adoption and counseling in lieu of surgical procedures. In the cases of rape, incest or in the cases where the mother's health is in mortal peril, the lines are blurred, but we of the Pro-Life stance feel that those who've been raped or part of incestuous relations should try to make the best out of a bad situation, carry the pregnancy to term and seek adoption resources. At the heart of the Pro-Life point of view is the Word of the Judeo-Christian God. The Bible clearly says "Thou shalt not Kill" and therefore is anti-abortion.

(At this time I'd just like to interject that it's difficult to write the above mission statement without reverting to persuasive techniques/phrases. I'll get to that later, but it's hard to just write the sterile ideas. Even though I don't agree with them, I know the embelished arguments well.)

Know them. Most of those people who advocate abortion (or Pro-Choicers) state the basic argument is that a woman has the right to choose to terminate a pregnancy because it is her body, her uterus. They don't have a religious backbone to their argument, they base it solely on secular ideas of women's rights. Logic and "do what feels right", in lieu of "God says this". While their argument doesn't state that abortion is the only choice or the right (similar to the Pro-Life argument) it does state that it is a choice, therefore we are different.

Let the games begin. First of all, we can't just go to the head of NOW or Planned Parenthood and expect to change their minds. So let's aim our argument at the average woman...better yet, the young woman, say the 15-22 age group. They're not the ones fighting the Pro-Choice fight, they're pretty nebulous at this stage of the game and they're the most likely to have unplanned pregnancies.

Okay, playing to their strengths we can provide demographic statistics about the number of African-American women getting abortions, about the cases where doctors won't do them, how insurance doesn't cover abortion...more statistics about the 15-22 age group...without bringing religion in we can support our argument from the starting gate.

Playing to their emotions is going to be relatively easy...these are still girls, it's not been so long since they were pushing Dolly in her plastic stroller. We'll provide detailed descriptions of what happens during the various techniques of abortion while using harsh words like "suck" and "crush", "tear", "rip" and "mangle". We'll always refer to the fetus as "baby" or "child". We'll use "murder" instead of "kill", "kill" instead of "abortion". We'll play to the natural fear all women have of gynecological exams and perpetuate that fear by describing the clinic as cold and full of metal instruments. We'll also play to the fear women have of becoming barren, so we'll include accounts of women who've had abortions and then are rendered sterile (and use the heart-wrenching phrase "their one chance at motherhood in a back alley dumpster"). We'll portray all abortion clinics as seedy or dirty. We'll surround all uses of the word "Pro-Choice" with negative adjectives to subliminally demonize those on that side. We'll call them "pro-abortion" outright or in not so many words and point out that they refer to our side as "anti-choice". We'll carefully word everything so that the Motherhood is the best thing to happen to any woman, even a 15 year old girl. We'll tell heroic stories of women who were on the table and then left before it was "too late". The only time we'll bring up religion is in the argument about Rape/Incest "victims/survivors" saying that it's God's will and that God has a plan for even that child, that something good can come of something so bad. We'll throw in the clever "Two wrongs don't make a right". And if none of this is effective, we'll bring out the pictures of "babies" post-abortion. (We'll save the "baby killers burn in hell" attack for when we're standing outside of the abortion clinic Saturday morning.)

And thus in a "shock and awe" barrage of loaded words, data skewed by bias and emotional anarchy, we'll end our ProLife message with the words "every woman does have a choice: she can choose to have sex or not".

Persuasive writing is everywhere. It's nice to pay attention from time to time. We can't wave a magic wand and make people see things our way...for everything else, we've always got a pen.

One Thing I Want...

2004-07-10T19:22:00.000-07:00

...is Julie Rae in my arms.

She's a sweet treat, with lush dark hair and twinkling eyes and a juicy bosom and SO would go there with me, would enjoy woman-love with me...

Except she's married.

*sigh*

And what am I to do? I crave, crave having my hands cupping her breasts...or hers on mine...our lips meet, tease, taste...a memory arises of her pressed against my side on the night of Ray's birthday party...she wanted me right there on that blanket under the stars...she too was hard put to not start planting light kisses down my neck...nibble under my ear...and even just sitting there in that tension was almost orgasmic...our faces were cheek to cheek and how easy t'would have been to turn my head oh so slightly and find her lips on mine...

Oh yes, she's a flirt, too. In the biggest way. She's very enticing...intoxicating to me...

Argh. Just Argh.

Hell, even just to cuddle her, to fall asleep (either nude or semi-clad, whatever is most comfortable) in her arms a couple of hours before dawn, after lots of snuggling and light kissing and talking.

See? There's a part of me that wants her, and she wants me, but we don't feel the need to leave whatever man in our life is there...we wouldn't be averse to occasional fun, and it wouldn't mean we love our men any less.

I say it's a myth that bisexual people NEED to have one of each partner in their lives or else they feel unfulfilled. Well, maybe on occasion some of us - not all, but some - like a little variety once in a while.

But, it's a double standard if I want to do this, yet wouldn't allow Joe to do it if we ever got back again officially.

So shall I put a lid on it and never mention it again and look for a whole different partner and cut that part out of my life altogether?

I have a feeling there are some who would say "missy, you can't do that with impunity - if you try you WILL end up paying for it in the long run, psychologically." Better to come to terms with it somehow, make peace with it.

It's a lot to consider.

What Is It I Want?

2004-07-10T18:15:00.000-07:00

Why can I not put this pentacle down now?

I'm not Wiccan. Or am I?

What does it mean to say "I am" something or other? What is identity? What is self?

I posted a singles profile on Beliefnet's new thing....whatever....site for singles. I put my religion as primarily Christian. Liberal Christian. Unitarian Universalist, specifically.

Because I figure I've been fishing in the wrong waters for a partner. I don't know that I'm going to find someone with similar values as me in the Pagan scene. There's just way TOO MUCH permissiveness there that I can't live with.

I need someone that understands that boundaries are OK and normal even in relationships. I guess Joe has a problem with this. Well, he would say he doesn't, but I think he does.

Funny. He said he wouldn't trust JFK with his WIFE, but he'd trust JFK with his LIFE.

Why is it OK for him to have partial trust in someone, yet he expects perfect trust from me? We aren't Wiccan, and we aren't into that "perfect love perfect trust" thing.

Does anyone actually have any fricking clue what that really means??? What is "perfect love?" Unconditional love/trust? Is this a realistic goal?

Or...

Is it a case of what I've been thinking lately, that the Buddha was right when he came up with the first Noble Truth: all life is suffering?

That to me seems a lot more realistic than "perfect love and perfect trust."

Life hurts. It's the way it's supposed to be. Serenity is found in accepting this.

Maybe I should have put that I'm mostly Buddhist in philosophy!

Slow Saturday

2004-07-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

So far, not good.

I have water in the carpet in front of my bathroom and maintenance has NOT sent the carpet cleaners in to get it vac'd out.

Nearly 24 hours ago, Jim (our maintenance guy) came in and fixed my a/c and got me a lovely new thermostat, and he said that the carpet cleaners would be here "in an hour" and suck the water out of my carpet.

No one has shown up yet.

It's going on 3pm on the day AFTER he told me this, and JJ has even been out here to look at my a/c, and no carpet cleaners.

I can't figure out WTF is going on.

Meanwhile, in other news:

I did it again. I really amazed myself. Caught my reflection in the side of my car as I went to lunch, and I thought I looked really hot. Of course, once again, I'm in my white jammy top and a very supportive bra, and there's something really sexy about a buxom full-figured woman. *grin*

Yup, I really do sometimes literally turn myself on at the very sight of myself - in a mirror or any other reflective surface. I'm a very sexy full-figured Goddess.

Although I have to admit, I'm thinking of looking for quality rather than quantity in a sex/love life. I can have plenty of sex with my ex Joe, and really HOT HOT HOT sex - but I feel like he just doesn't treat me the way I want to be treated. He doesn't do enough to put ME FIRST, ahead of anything else. And it sends a message of "you as a person aren't important enough to come first. Your feelings don't matter in this. You should just trust me to do whatever I want."

ARGH!

It gets SO VERY FRUSTRATING.

He acts too much like we are separate entities and there is NO relationship to bind us together at all. We just sort of meet long enough to fuck and that's it. I need something deeper than that.

But he's a Gemini and quite often, they can be really shallow people.

I remember one Shannan who used to work at FDC with me. She was a Gemini too, and the very epitome of all-American good looks and whatnot. She was screaming hot and bisexual too. She made a comment to me once: "You're high maintenance, like I am. Nothing wrong with that. BE high maintenance."

OK.

That is ONE thing about Shannan that I admired. She validated herself very powerfully. She took no crap. And she didn't care if people didn't like her because she was going to work her sex appeal for all it was worth. Her attitude was, if anyone gave her any shit, "Your lips are moving...why are they not firmly attached to my ass where they belong?"

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

In a way, she could be shallow. Yet in another way, she kicked ass.

I have a feeling that between arrogant Gemini Joe and arrogant Gemini Shannan, those two would have utterly met their matches in sheer 'tude.

I've never learned the "fuck you, I'm not here to please YOU" 'tude. I've always been a people-pleaser. I've always been one to just go along to get along.

I really have to WORK AT IT to actually DO things for myself, not for other people.

And that's not the only thing. I've also had to work very hard at just being happy. Or having decent self-esteem (although I'm learning about that as I go). These things just don't come naturally to me, and I'm starting to accept that about myself.

All this time I've thought that something is wrong with me, because I don't seem to have the knack for happiness that other people seem to. But I need to stop punishing myself for just being me, and doing whatever comes naturally.

*sigh*

Oh well....better get back to my other blog...I have things that need posting.